How To Live Up to Your Greatest Potential.

If you want to make more of your talents - live up to your full potential- you have to learn to use them. You have the power to change your habits- to acquire new skills and fully use the skills you now have. You can improve your performance, your productivity, and the quality of your wholelife.What makes a high achiever? Is it luck, intelligence, talent, dedication?All of these things figure in - they all make a difference. But we allknow intelligent, talented, hard-working people who do not consider them selves very successful or even happy. And we know people who are notexceptionally bright but seem happy and successful.So there must be something else, some secret to success. Actually thereare several secrets to achieving your peak performance - living up to yourfull potential.Your success at business, friendship, love, sports - just about anythingyou try - is largely determined by your own self-image. Your unhappiness is something you choose. So, you're thinking no one chooses to be unhappy. Well, maybe not - but you have to consciously choose to be happy,self-confident, and successful.Happiness is elusive when we go after it directly. So is self-confidence.Both seem to be more "side-products" than something you can achieve in andfor itself. So how, then, can consciously choosing to be these things beof any value? Well, the secret is to focus on other things.First, focus on your potential. Begin by making a complete and accurateassessment of your potential. To do this you must take an inventory of yourself - you will make a few lists. Sit down and make a list of all the things you can do well. Be honest with yourself. When that list is done,make a list of all the things you like to do, even if you think you can'tdo them well. Then, make a list of all the things you would like to do, if you could. Now list your hobbies.Then, go back to the list of things you can do well. You are probablybeing much too hard on yourself. Most of us are. We have this littlevoice in our heads telling us things like: "You're so dumb," or "You can'tlearn to do that," or "You never do anything right," or similar nastythings. And even worse, we listen to that voice as if it's telling us thegospel truth. So now, shut off that voice - you can do it - and add a fewmore things to the list of things you can do well. Pretend you are yourbest friend - it's amazing how much more forgiving and charitable we arewith our friends than we are with ourselves. Now that you are your bestfriend, you should be able to add a few more items to your "do well" list.But do be honest - don't list things you feel you really can't do well.Next, go to your list of things you like to do but you feel you don't dowell. Speaking as your own best friend, do you think there are some thingson this list that could be moved to your "do well" list? There probablyare. If you like to do it, chances are you do pretty well at it. Treatyour hobby list in the same manner.Next, go to your list of things you would like to do if you could. Askyourself, "Why can't I do this, if I'd like to?" Put your reasons onanother list. OK. So you have a lot of lists going - what good is thatgoing to do? Well, you have just made an assessment of yourself. If youhave been truly honest in making these lists, it may even be a fairlyaccurate assessment. Probably it isn't, but that's OK. This assessmentisn't carved in stone. It's subject to change. But for now we will workwith what's on the lists. At least you have a place to start.Look over your lists again. You are focusing on all the things you feelyou can't do and the reasons why you can't do them, right? Well, don't.FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN DO - FOCUS ON YOUR POTENTIAL. Make it a habit tofocus on your strengths. Don't forget to include your undevelopedpotential, as well. Train yourself to focus on your potential instead ofyour limitations.Now that's not to say that you should ignore your list of reasons for notdoing some of the things you would like to do. Not at all! But look atthem from the viewpoint of your strengths. For instance, you'd like toplay basketball but you think you are too short, so you don't even try. Inthis case, you are looking at it from the viewpoint of your limitations.Now, when you look at it from the viewpoint of your strengths, you wouldsay, "Well, I may be pretty short to play, BUT I am fast. I can handle theball well. I have a lot of stamina. I can't change being short, but I canrefuse to let my limitations overcome my strengths."You see the difference? Focusing on your limitations lets thoselimitations make your decisions for you. Focusing on your strengths letsYOU make the decision. To go back to our example: when you've decided toovercome your height limitations to play basketball - something you reallywant to do - you will be more determined to develop your strengths tocompensate. You will do well, because you will be doing what you reallywant to do and you will be determined to develop the full potential of yourstrengths. Very few people concentrate on fully developing any of theirstrengths. That's where you will have the edge. You know your truedisadvantages but your determination, your singleness of purpose, willinspire you to fully develop the talents and skills you do have.OK. You probably have no interest in playing basketball. Then go to yourassessment of yourself. What do you have a major interest in? What do youhave a natural aptitude for? Go for it. Devote yourself to something youreally like to do. Don't choose something just because you think you couldmake more money at it than you could by doing something else that you wouldreally rather work at. You won't work to develop your full potential. Youmay start out with enthusiasm, but you will soon flag. It will be a choreto go to work. You'll probably find yourself hating to go. It'll bedifficult to work on improving your skills because you don't like what youare doing. You probably won't be working up to your potential. Yoursuccess will probably be limited by your growing lack of interest and yourhappiness will surely be affected.If, however, you devote yourself to something you really like to do, you'llenjoy your work, you'll be enthusiastic, and you'll probably find yourselfworking on improving your skills just for the sheer joy of it. You will beworking to reach your full potential. You'll probably soon find you aremaking more money at this truly interesting occupation than you everdreamed possible. And because you like what you are doing, you will behappier.When you know you are working to your full potential and you enjoy yourwork and begin to feel successful, you will find that self-confidence andhappiness soon follow.But, you must be realistic and honest with yourself. If you set goals thatyou can't possibly reach, you are setting yourself up for failure. Youwill make yourself frustrated and unhappy. The key here is a realistic andhonest assessment of your potential.Although most people will be unnecessarily harsh in their assessments, itis easy to become too hopeful when you start breaking down barriers. If,for instance, you're extremely interested in and fond of music and wouldlove to be a singer, it would be unreasonable to set a singing career asyour goal if you can't sing a note (some talents are inborn). But if youare knowledgeable about the music business and would be happy beinginvolved in some other capacity, then it would be reasonable to pursue acareer in the business.Be wary of making otherwise perfectly reasonable goals unattainable becauseof stringent time frames. When you set a goal, you will most likely settimes for achieving certain steps along your way to achieving your finalgoal. Even if you don't set the time frames formally, you will probablyhave a pretty good idea of how long you are giving yourself. It's wise tosit down and formally set these goals. Think about it and give yourselfreasonable time to achieve them. Make a deal with yourself to view thesetime limits as flexible.Don't get discouraged if things don't work out as planned. Sometimesfinding our place takes both time and error. All of us experience failuresof one magnitude or another. The key is to view the failures as a learningexperience - if nothing else, failures teach us what not to do. Remainflexible. As long as you keep focusing on your strengths and potential,the right thing will come along - and probably sooner rather than later.But don't quit at the first sign of boredom. Even if you have truly foundyour niche, you will not feel enthusiastic 100 percent of the time.Don't worry about others - don't compare your progress with that of others.No matter how successful you are, there will be someone else who, to you,looks like she's got it made - who looks like she's getting where you wantto go faster and easier than you are. Maybe she is. Maybe she isn't. Whocares? Focus on your own achievements. Work to develop your skills andtalents to their full potential. Compete with yourself - your short termgoals should be based on today's accomplishments. If you have reachedPoint A today, make Point B your next objective - improve yourself anddon't worry about the other guy.OK. You have decided what your ultimate goal is. Make sure it is adefinitely defined goal. "Someday I want to be famous" just won't cut it.Define exactly what you want to do. Define a reasonable time frame. Knowwhat you have to do to get there. You don't need to know every littledetail, but you do have to have the big picture and many of the details.If you have a goal in mind but don't know what it takes to reach it, thenyou need to find out. Do some reading, talk to people who know, askquestions and LISTEN to the answers. Think that sounds like a lot of work?Well, remember what you are preparing for - your success and happiness.Surely you want to put a little effort into that! Anyway, a littlereseach into what it will take for you to reach your goals isn't toodifficult.Train yourself into making this "research" the next focus of your life.You will be focusing on your strengths, on your purpose, and on learningand doing. If you have chosen a goal that is right for you, focusing onthese things and devoting the necessary time should not be too difficult.It may take a bit of self-discipline at first, but your determination andinterest will carry you through until the focusing process becomes a habit.When you have a real desire to accomplish something, initiatative shouldonly require an occasional shove - but you may need to give it a nudge nowand again.Get into the habit of visualizing your success. Now sitting around anddaydreaming in generalizations about it is not what we mean. You need tovisualize specifics. To return to the basketball example, daydreamingabout being carried off the court on your teammates' shoulders is justdaydreaming. Picturing in your mind how you will work a play if youropponent makes a particular move, picturing your exact response to it, isvisualizing specifics. If you run through specific moves in your mind, youwill be prepared when the need for those moves arises.Don't be afraid to use your imagination to visualize new and better ways toaccomplish things, as well. Here in your mind, you can try doing things inways that are different from the usual. This is a creative process - youmay have heard of creative thinking. Training yourself to think creativelyis largely learning to let your imagination work on methods that aredifferent from the "way things have always been done." It's breaking awayfrom the idea that a thing can be done effectively in only one way. It'slooking at a problem from all angles. Just play a game of "what if." Askyourself, "What if I did this thing this way?" It's OK to get a littlecrazy sometimes. But, you must also spend some of your thinking time atspecific visualizations of the moves you need to make to accomplish yourgoals.Visualizations are important but actual physical practice of your skills isimportant, too. Practice the boring little skills that are necessary aswell as the skills that you enjoy. Don't let yourself rely on just thethings that come naturally and easy to you. Develop your limitedpotentials as well as those that you feel are your assets.Work on developing the more general attributes that are important to almostany goal:Success comes more easily to those who have a pleasing personality. Thisis not to say that you should bend to eveyone's wishes or scrape and bow.Rather, develop an attitude that is respectful of other's opinions but trueto your own beliefs. Be flexible - don't be so rigid that you can't acceptanother's opinion when it is superior to your own. Be willing, even eager,to learn from others. Changing your opinion in light of more facts is asign of strength of character, not weakness. Be willing to extend ahelpful hand, be a team player. Develop a sense of humor. Be polite andcaring - but be your own person.Learn to guard against emotional responses. You are susceptible to errorsof judgement when you let your emotions get in the way. Of course,everything we do is done based somewhat on our emotions, but strongemotions have little place in decision making. Hold your emotions incheck. Try to delay decisions if you are in an emotional state. Learn toignore your emotions and use reasoning to arrive at your decisions.Develop the habit of enthusiasm. Enthusiasm works like a magnet - it drawspeople and success. It's a pleasing personality trait that people like tobe a part of. It seems to be contagious - the people around you becomeenthusiastic, too, and become more cooperative. Enthusiasm sparksinitiative and singleness of purpose.We've talked of working to develop habits - the habit of focusing on yourgoals, the habit of focusing on your strengths, the habit of learning and"researching," the habit of visualizing, the habit of enthusiasm. Now wewill talk of habits in a little different light - breaking them. First,assess your habits looking for the ones that may be displeasing to others.Offensive habits can hold you back from success - they are often a part ofan unpleasing personality. Look for things like grumbling or grunting atpeople instead of answering, gazing at anything but the speaker whenconversing, smirking or sneering when you don't agree - anything that is anautomatic, displeasing mannerism. It will be very difficult to assess yourhabits accurately. After all, a habit is something that we do withoutthinking much about it. You will have to spend some time at this and bevery conscious of yourself. Ask someone you trust to help you with thisassessment. It may take a lot of work to break yourself of displeasinghabits. Try substituting a different, more pleasing behavior for the habityou wish to break.OK. You have set definite goals, you have a definiteness of purpose, youhave researched and know the specific steps to take to achieve the goals,you have resolved to be flexible and to develop a more pleasingpersonality. Now what?Well, just because you have a clear purpose, know what you want, arewilling to work on developing your potential, and willing to be a niceperson, success will not drop into your lap overnight.You will probably find that one of your first steps in achieving your goalswill be to take a job somewhat below where you hope eventually to be. Butyou've already analyzed the steps to your goal, so you presumably haveplanned for this. However, you do want to advance and, of course, asquickly as possible.As you advance toward your goals, you will undoubtedly run up against somedifficult people (maybe even difficult bosses), and there will be timesyou'll need to deal effectively with them. Since you are working onbecoming a nice, enthusiastic person and a team player, you already havehalf the battle won. Your attitude is as important as the other guy'sattitude when you are dealing with difficult people.Always keep in mind that your job is a training field for you. You aregetting paid as you learn the things you need to know to achieve yourgoals. Pretty good deal, right? If you view your job as a paidopportunity to advance toward your goals, you will be an asset to yourboss. You will also be a happier, more productive person. Viewing yourjob in this manner will allow you to view the difficult people you willinevitably need to deal with as an opportunity to grow. From them and thesituations they create, you will learn to negotiate with, side-step around,and draw out the best in others without letting yourself become upset.Each time you successfully deal with one of these people you will gainconfidence and probably friends to add to your support network. The skillof negotiating with difficult people and the confidence you have gainedfrom these encounters comes in handy when you are ready to ask for apromotion or raise - even if your boss happens to be a nice person.Successful negotiation is not a contest of wills - it is working togetherto solve a problem or come to an agreement. It is an opportunity to learnhow others feel about the issue.Always be prepared. Know who you are talking with. Always know as much aspossible about the person. Know about the person's marital status, family,hobbies, education, difficulties, attitudes, and whatever else you canlearn. The information may give you an understanding of the person. Ifyou know the circumstances, you will more easily find the most effectiveway to get your point across. At the very least, the information will makethe person seem more familiar which will give you more self-confidence.Know the issue - not just your opinions about it. Be able to back up youropinions with reasons and research. If you are asking for a promotion,know the demands of the job in question. Know and be honest about how muchof the job you are already qualified to do and how much additional trainingyou will need. If you may not be as qualified as someone else applying, beprepared to negotiate for a smaller-than-offered salary until you are fullytrained - remember the training is worth a lot to you. Be enthusiastic andfocus on your strengths - don't boast but give an a simple and accuratelisting of the strengths you feel make you a good candidate for this job.The strengths you cite can and should include specific job related skills,your present accomplishments on the job, your interest in the field (notjust this job), your enthusiasm, your ability to work as a team member, andother personal traits that will be an asset on the job.Always enter into negotiations with a calm and reasonable manner. Don'tlet emotion and emotional outbursts have a place at the negotiating table.You must be in control of yourself if you want to get your point across.People are more likely to listen to your views if you present them in acalm and reasonable manner. Present your ideas with conviction but don'ttry to intimidate others or be demanding. State your views simply,completely, and orderly. When you are expressing an opinion rather than afact, use a qualifying "I think" or "In my opinion." When others areexpressing their views, listen carefully and ask questions if somethingisn't clear. Don't disagree until you are sure you understand theirposition. When you do disagree, do so in a pleasant non-threatening way."I see what you mean, but . . ." or "I can understand why you think that,but . . ." are a couple of good ways to begin a statement of disagreement.Be courteous and leave them a chance to save face.Be prepared to face people who are not calm and reasonable. Don't let themget to you. Remain calm and reasonable and even be a little sympathetic.Let's say you have entered into negotiations with your boss for a raise andhe blows up with, "I can't afford to give you a raise. This business isn'texactly a gold mine. Don't you realize how tough times are?" Remain calm.Put yourself in his shoes. Try to find something you can agree andsympathize with. For instance, look sympathetic and agree, "I know youhave a lot of expenses and you work hard to keep this business going. Itmust be really difficult for you sometimes." This will probably not be theresponse he expects. It will probably take the wind out of his sails.Most likely he will calm down, and since you are sympathetic to hisproblems, he'll be more willing to listen to you. If you remain calm,reasonable, and sympathetic, he will calm down. When he is calmer, discusswith him the reasons you are a valuable asset to him. Don't threaten butcalmly and reasonably discuss the bargain a small raise is. With thatsmall raise, he'll be keeping a happy and fully trained employee who knowsthe company. When you consider the expense of finding and training anotherindividual, giving you a raise is a bargain for your boss.Play "Let's Make A Deal." Be prepared to deal. Don't expect to geteverything you want. If you are willing to gracefully make someconcessions, you will be more likely to arrive at a satisfactory deal.After all, a negotiation has at least two opposing sides. This meanssomeone else has something they want, too - even if that something issimply to leave things as they are. Arrive at a compromise that everyonecan live with. Remember, you are working at long-range goals, and you maybe negotiating with them again.Developing your potential more fully is a key to happiness and fulfillment.Although we have primarily discussed this in terms of a job, these sameconcepts can be used in many other areas of your life.In developing your potential to it's fullest, you will want to become amore efficient person - get more done in less time - so you can take fulladvantage of the opportunities that you make for yourself. You will notethat most effective, successful people seem to accomplish a great deal.It's true that this is partly due to enthusiasm, but there's more to it.The first barrier to efficiency is procrastination - putting off gettingstarted. Sometimes you know you are procrastinating. You may not want todo the task at hand so you keep putting it off until tomorrow. The thingto do is to look at it from a different angle. If it'll have to be donesometime, tell yourself, "why not do it now, and get it off your back."And that's just where it is! On your back dragging you down. Puttingthings off makes everything harder to do. If you keep putting things off,you'll soon have several things piling up, and then the sheer number oftasks you have backed up will make it seem impossible to ever get caughtup. This affects everything you do try to do.Sometimes you don't even realize you are putting things off. You may keepyourself extremely busy doing things of little importance to unconsciouslygive yourself excuses for doing the things you really should be doing. Yousay to yourself, "Look how busy I am. I just can't get everything done."But the result is the same as when you know you are procrastinating. Itsoon bogs you down. All you are doing is "running in place."So how do you beat procrastination?The first step in beating procrastination is to admit to yourself how oftenyou do it and assessing your methods of doing it. Not very difficult,really, when you become aware of the tactics some of us use to hide fromourselves what we are doing.The key in overcoming procrastination and becoming more efficient isorganization. Plan ahead. Know what you want to accomplish today, thisweek, and in the long haul.Make lists. The lists for today will probably be more detailed than thelonger-term lists. That's OK. Now look over the lists and rank the tasksin order of importance. Make three or four groupings based on importance.Within each group, star the things you least like to do.Each day you will have a "today" list to work on. Tackle the tasks thatare most important first. If you have several "most important" tasks onyour list, take on the least liked things in that grouping before you dothe better liked ones. When you have accomplished a task, check it off.You'll be surprised what a good feeling you have when you check things off.What a sense of accomplishment! It's an incentive to do the next task onthe list. When you have completed the tasks in the first grouping, beginon the list of next importance. Again do the starred items in that groupfirst. Keep on checking things off as you get them done.Do you see what is happening? You get the most pressing, least liked tasksout of the way early in the day when you are fresh and rested. As the daygoes on you will feel less and less pressure. You have reserved the lessimportant tasks for the end of the day when you will be more tired.With this system you will have not only increased your efficiency but alsoreduced some of the stress in your day. Stress can get in the way ofefficiency. Your new efficiency will help you develop your potential. Itis, in fact, a part of living up to your potential.Another important part of efficiency is in delegating work. If you are ina position where you have assistants or designated people under yoursupervision, you need to learn to delegate. If you are not in such aposition yet, you still need to know - since you're working on developingyour potential you very likely will be some day.Delegating work is difficult for many people. Some find it hard to askothers to do things for them - others find it hard not to demand thatothers do tasks. Delegating is an art.First, you need to realize that the people under your supervision arePEOPLE. Seldom, if ever, should you demand - that takes away self respect.In order to achieve a happy and co-operative crew, you need to help thembuild self-respect and self-confidence. A happy and co-operative crew isan asset to you. Demands do not promote self-respect and co-operation.Oh, it's probably effective to demand in the short run - but in the longrun you will be better off to gain co-operation without demanding.People who are asked to do a task, are given explanations and clearinstructions, and are praised for a job well done will grow inself-respect. They will also respect you as a good supervisor. If youhesitate to ask for their assistance, your crew will feel that you do nottrust them or have faith in their abilities. This affects theirself-respect and, as a reaction, will affect their respect for you, aswell.When you delegate work, don't delegate just the "junk" tasks. Your crewneeds to be given some important tasks to do as well as unimportant ones.The important task gives them a sense of the respect you have for them andthe faith you have in their abilities. It's a good idea to save some"junk" tasks for yourself. Perhaps the most respected and effective bossis the one about whom the crew says, "She never gives us anything to dothat she wouldn't do herself." Why? Because, by her actions the boss issaying that, though her position is above theirs, she is still just "plainpeople."Delegation of tasks is important because you can gain in effectiveness andget more done if you properly supervise a crew. Don't feel embarrassed orhesitant about delegating work. If it helps you to shine, it helps yourcrew shine, too. A well-run, effective department is a credit to the wholeteam. With proper delegating, you can help your crew achieve theirpotential as well as achieving your own.All of us have untapped potential - perhaps even areas of genius - that wehave neglected to develop. Whether your concept of success has to do withbusiness, love, friendship, sports, a combination of these or somethingelse, more fully developing your potential will help you achieve yourgoals. If you can learn to assess your potential, set realistic goals,and go after those goals with determination, organization, and purpose, youwill use your potential more fully, gain confidence, and be a happier and more successful person.